What I Left Behind in India

Some crossings take longer than the journey.

July 2023

When people ask me what I left behind in India,

I don’t think they understand

the layers of that question.

Leaving a country

is never just about geography.

It’s about leaving

versions of yourself

that only existed

in that soil,

in that air,

in that rhythm of life.

I left behind

a woman shaped by her own

quiet innocence.

Someone who believed

everything could be softened by love.

Someone who thought intentions

were enough to carry you through.

I was naïve

in the best possible way.

I believed in people easily.

I trusted easily.

I saw the world through rose-colored glasses

and didn’t yet know

how heavy real life could become.

But I also left behind

a woman who had grown into herself

professionally

in ways I could never have imagined

when I was younger.

I studied at India’s best film school at the time.

Six hundred people applied.

Twenty-five were accepted.

I was one of them.

That acceptance changed me.

It showed me

I had a voice.

A talent.

A place

in a world I once thought

was too big for me.

From there,

I carved out a path

where no paths existed.

I started one of the first

film-teaching programs in Bangalore

when “film education”

wasn’t even a phrase

people understood.

Later,

I started my own film school -

the first of its kind in India -

and ran it for twelve years.

It grew.

It thrived.

It touched lives.

I built a reputation as a teacher

not because I was the best,

but because I taught

from instinct,

intuition,

and an ability

to understand people deeply.

For the first time in my life,

I grew into self-confidence.

I became someone

students trusted,

parents admired,

colleagues respected.

And I didn’t realize then

how fragile that confidence could be.

How much of it came

from being rooted

in a place

where people already knew

who I was.

I didn’t know

that when I came to America

I would have to start

every bit of that journey

again.

Here,

the rules were different.

The people were different.

Trust was different.

The systems were different.

I didn’t anticipate

that the professional foundation

I had built brick by brick

would not automatically translate

into this new world.

I didn’t know

I would have to explain myself

from scratch -

my experience,

my identity,

my talent.

All of it.

I didn’t know

I would once again find myself

in rooms

where I was misunderstood

or overlooked.

That my accent

would become a barrier.

That my skin

would speak

before I even opened my mouth.

I used to tell my students,

“You forgot to think,”

when their answers

didn’t quite make sense.

In hindsight,

I can safely tell myself the same thing.

You forgot to think.

Think about what moving

to a different country

halfway across the world

might mean

to a forty-five-year-old woman.

If I had known all this,

maybe I would have hesitated.

Maybe I would have chosen differently.

It’s impossible to say.

But the hardest part of leaving

wasn’t professional.

I left behind my comfort zone.

My friends -

my lifeline

through every heartbreak

and every triumph.

I left behind my mother,

not knowing then

that she was nearing

the last years of her life.

I left behind

familiar sounds,

familiar smells,

familiar versions of myself.

I left behind

the city that shaped me.

The community that understood me.

The sense of belonging

that took years to build.

I left behind

someone who was respected.

Someone who had carved out

a small corner

for herself.

And…

I left behind

my children.

I came to America

before they did.

And while people talk

about courage,

about chasing dreams,

about starting over,

nobody talks about

the courage it takes

to walk away from your children

even for a little while.

I cried

the entire twenty-four-ish hour journey

to the U.S.

My body was moving forward.

My heart stayed in India.

Every mile

felt like a betrayal.

Every minute of the next several months

didn’t feel worth living for.

And in the midst of all this,

I didn’t realize

that the only person

I would truly have here

was Melvin.

Someone I had known for just a year.

Someone I had never lived with.

Someone whose rhythms

I didn’t yet understand.

Suddenly,

the man I exchanged messages

and calls with

became my only anchor.

Living full-time

with someone you barely know

is its own kind of challenge -

gentle in some moments,

shockingly difficult in others.

Neither of us

fully knew

what we were stepping into.

And still…

I took the leap.

And that is perhaps

the greatest lesson

India taught me -

the one I carried

across the ocean

without knowing it.

You don’t always need to know

what lies ahead.

Sometimes you take the step

because something inside you whispers,

Go.

And if things fall apart,

you get up.

You gather yourself.

You make things right again.

You keep walking.

You keep growing.

You trust

that the path will reveal itself.

And somehow,

it always does.

I left behind

so much in India.

But leaving

wasn’t the end.

It was the beginning.

The beginning

of becoming someone

I never imagined

I could be.

Whisper:

I learned that belonging can have more than one address.

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